The Faux Holies are out in droves nowadays. Not only Christians — Buddhists killing people? But in America it’s the Christians who are the fauxiest. They defend pedophilia like that was their God-given right. A god who condones child abuse ain’t worth spitting on. One Faux Holy got so worked up he declared his pedophile was truer than Christ.
They will have ways of justifying that for you.
Hence their name, Faux.
Their Fairy Queen is Kim Davis of marriage license fame. She’s kind of like Queen Mab but she wears her hair strictly skinned back. (She suspects it of pubic tendencies.) And she likes the wimple effect, purity of intent. She rides around on a lighted Sparkler like a broom, because it calls attention to the ever-shining face of her holiness.
And the Sparkler is perpetually lighted — she is a fairy after all.
She’s a scourge on homosexuals. Even took her fight to Romania. Yes, Romania. She loves to get mad like bubbly sugar stuff, How dare they? Bubbly sugar stuff is dangerous — it can leap out and scald you.
Queen Kim likes to scatter candy kisses wherever she goes. They look like chocolate but taste like vinegar and toothpaste.
If God was a hater He’d hate Queen Kim. She gets fired up like a backwoods preacher, damning folks left and right. She has Righteousness! God grants her the right to damn in His name. Just ask her followers.
And we ask, How faux can you go?
Yes, when I heard the governor of Alabama, a woman no less, say that it was better to have a pedophile than a Democrat, I asked myself, is it really that bad in Alabama? Is Jim Crow still there?